Sorry for not posting regularly lately as my schedule is getting a bit hectic as I mentioned on the previous post. Anyway, here are some pics of  foods (not in particular order)

Bunch of various oats for bfast

I’ve been cooking lots of Chinese herb medicine for my brother. Those stuff is super bitter and has a very strong smell. The whole house just smelled like herbs after cooking this. This is just one of those. I didn’t have time and energy to take pics of every single time I cooked the medicine. Basically you boiled the herbs with 3 cups (8 oz size) of water until it becomes 1 cup.

Honestly, I’ve been having negative thoughts lately that I even had to rewrite this entire post. Prior to this one, I had another draft that I was so ready to publish and be done. Instead of writing down all of my negativity, let me just write down my most inner thoughts.

I do not quite like it when my parents want me to let my brother live with me, even after I got married.

I despise my relatives who keeps pointing finger and sort of “blaming me” for not taking care of my brother.

I do not like the “females have to do more housework than men” mentality in my family circles (my hubby is a total exception).

I like my hubby more compared to my family.

I wish I was born as a boy in my family so they won’t try to “mold” me into their #3 mentality.

My hubby is the only closest person to me, whom I can pretty much share all my thoughts. I can’t even do this to my parents.

Even though I have friends that I’ve known since college and high school, I still feel there’s a “wall or distance” between us.

I don’t see my work colleagues as friends. I only talk to them at work and that’s about it. I never hang out nor call each other unless it’s work related. Usually work and romance don’t mix well or depends on individuals, but for me both romantic relationship and friendship don’t mix well with work either. I met my hubby at his old workplace where I was interning and we dated while working together. It wasn’t a smooth ride either. Emotions got in a way, luckily it didn’t affect others around us. But from that point, I decided not to ever work together with someone whom I have relationship with. As for friendship at work place, it’s just way too much politics to deal with. Though my current workplace politic might not be as bad as other places, I prefer to draw a line. I don’t share too much of my personal stuff. For example, I bought a place. I know some of other colleagues actually didn’t mind that they shared that info. But you know what others saying behind them? They are jealous. They start to comparing themselves, how A makes more $$ so he/she can afford a house and the mortgage. That’s just one example.

I wrote this post at the most inappropriate time.

I don’t like it when my routine got disrupted.

Lately I’ve been feeling my exercise routine start to wear me down. Though I like the progress I’ve seen (not much visually but more strength and stamina), I start to burn out. I used to be leading sedentary lifestyle and exercise wasn’t really activities that I enjoy. I am far away from being athletic. Why all sudden I want to be active? Let me tell you something. My family doesn’t exactly have the best gene and stamina. My mom was ill couple years ago, because of digestion issue and now my brother is having something similar as well. I also have some hereditary illness which I am not going to discuss here. But fear not, it’s not life threatening but it can affect me if my body is weak. With all these facts, I presume you can understand my reason starting to be more active. As we’re on this topic, this will lead to another part of my thought.

I plan to be childless for the rest of my life. K also agrees with me on this matter. Part of it because of my family history, which I am not interested to pass another defective gene. Part of it because I realize I am not the most compassionate person. I even complain and whine baby sitting the full grown young man and having a child with his/her constant needs, I know I’m going crazy. People always say “it’ll be different if it’s your own child, you’re going to be lonely when you’re old, you’re going to change your mind someday, you’re going to regret it, blah..blah blah..
Enough with those! Just the of me carrying a living person inside my belly for 9 months and going through an unimaginable painful child birth labor just freak me out. I know I’ll be judged, flamed, and despised by women readers out there, especially the mothers. I apologize for that. Let me make myself clear. I do respect those who want to have children and I don’t judge them. So I’d prefer the same as well. Not everyone is meant to be parent and I know I’m not.

Sorry for such a long post, but I’ve been wanting to write these down for a long time.

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